That’s not a mansion…
Bobby’s Burger Palace: I’m in love with a man. That’s right, I said it. I’m in love with a man. And that man is none other than Bobby Flay. This is possibly the greatest thing to happen to New Jersey since the invention of the Brita Filter (seriously that tap water is dangerous). This name of this restaurant suggests royalty, a supposed hierarchy in the world of burgers. That suggestion would be correct. You could nail one of these burgers to a wall in the Louvre and it would be right at home. I felt bad eating the burgers. I should have put it in glass and guarded it 24/7. When I took that first bite, I’m pretty sure I came. Twice.
There are currently only two locations: Smith Haven Mall in Lake Grove, NY and Monmouth Mall in Eatontown, NJ. There is a rumor that they will be opening another location in North Bergen. Their menu is surprisingly small: 10 variations of burgers, one being a regular cheese burger and another one being a double cheeseburger, leaving only 8 actual specialty burgers. Each of these is pretty interesting. Such as the “L.A. Burger” which has avocado relish and water cress on it, in addition to the standard cheese and tomato (Bobby Flay has water cress on a few of these burgers). I ordered “Dallas Burger” medium, which was a spice crusted pattie, had coleslaw, monterey jack cheese, BBQ sauce, and pickles. I also had the burger “crunchified,” an option you can do with any burger which means they put potato chips on the burger. It was simply divine. It’s like if a poem was a burger. I also had their onion rings and sweet potato fies which were pretty bitchin’. Fries don’t come with the burgers, however. They also have all these strange and wonderous condiments, such as chiptole ketchup and burger sauce. Burger sauce is brown and sweet though, I imagine it’s much like brown sauce, which is that condiment found in England.
There is only one problem with this place. Yes, you read that right, there is, in fact, one problem with the palce. It’s not big enough. On top of that, it’s communal seeting. It’s long tables with seats bolted to the ground. So you will sit elbow to elbow with people you don’t know. On my trip I was sandwhiched between two old women who incessantly asked about the burger I was eating. My response was to take the pattie out of the hamburger bun and put my….no I didn’t do that. But I should have.
They also have salads and grilled cheese for anyone stupid enough to go to a place called a Burger Palace for salad and grilled cheese. That’s like going to pizza hut for burgers, or white castle for french toast. Ever salad sold should come with a smack in the face, because for ever salad your order, that is exactly what you are doing to Bobby Flay. You are smacking his wonderful gift square in the dick.
You must go to this place before you die. Or Bobby Flay dies. Or both.
Price - $ cheap
Location: Monmouth Mall, Eatontown, NJ
http://www.bobbysburgerpalace.com/
-R
